Articles

Let Go and Take Hold of Your Dissertation and Your Life

Published in All-But-Dissertation Survival Guide

There's an old New Yorker cartoon which depicts a tired, bespectacled man, sleeves rolled up, sitting in his basement at his typewriter surrounded by piles and piles of paper on the floor, bulletin boards filled with varying sized notes, and crumbled pieces of paper near a wastebasket. As he leans over the typewriter, his wife stands on the staircase above with her arms crossed. He turns to her and says, "Finish it? Why would I want to finish it?"

The mordant humor expressed by this cartoon is familiar to anyone whose dissertation has become a "bad old friend", thorn in one's side, or albatross around one's neck.

Strangely, we humans get used to the craziest things, and even more strangely become attached to them! It's a well known fact that even long term inmates often become so attached to their prisons that they recommit crimes in order to get sent back again!

What does this have to do with you? Has your dissertation become the safe prison that you're inadvertently attached to even while hating it? You can get free! But first you may need to look more closely at the emotional baggage that may be keeping you overly attached to you dissertation. All the good advice in the world won't help unless you can feel free enough to take it in and let yourself get released.

You may need to look at what you're having trouble letting go of so that you can take hold of both your dissertation and your life! These two things occur together. You can not do one without the other. Do you feel a kind of 'been there, done that' cynicism about ever getting out of the dissertation morass? Strange to say, that very cynicism may be one of the ways that you hold on to your painful attachment! You are not a broken record, even though it can sometimes feel like you're going over the same groove (or jumping through the same hoops) over and over. If you're up to the dissertation, you have an inquiring mind, and the capacity to get control of the needle - if you grease the mechanism.

It's true that words are easy but the process of change always involves some amount of anxiety and pain. So rather than focusing on your dissertation /per se/, you may need to temporarily make yourself the project by discovering and acknowledging your latent attitudes and fantasies regarding the meanings the dissertation has for you, including what you're getting out of not getting it done.

Often, people who have experienced many losses and separations in their lives tend to take more time getting their dissertations completed. One of the most common conflicts is that completing the dissertation means truly and fully entering into adulthood and leaving childhood behind. Maybe keeping the dissertation incomplete helps you avoid taking hold of new opportunities or responsibilities in your life - or even cultivating feelings of potential greatness! - which a part of you would like to avoid. As long as you have your dissertation to think about, you don't have to face those challenges.

Sorting these kinds of implicit issues out with a coach or by journaling about it on your own can be very helpful, but you have to be open to asking questions to begin with. Surrender to the fact that you're in a process. Let yourself be with your emotions and fantasies, and then take a mental helicopter ride up above yourself and look down at where you are. It's even possible that completing the dissertation may not be as necessary as it seems for you to have a rich and fulfilling life. Letting go of that notion can help you to put it into a better perspective.

Here's a well-known poem by Marianne Williamson and some questions for you to consider and journal on if you like.

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented or fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not save the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of god within us It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated form our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

What feelings and emotions were evoked as you read this poem?

How does this poem relate to your attitudes towards success and failure? To childhood vs. adulthood?

What would you need to risk in order to live a life of greatness? Be specific. Write from your heart not your head.

Next, write an imaginary letter to yourself or to your advisor. It's a year from now and you're celebrating your dissertation's completion. Describe what actions you took to make this moment come true!

You can take hold of your dissertation! Get out of the basement and into your life!

Perform Your Best at Your Orals

Published in All-But-Dissertation Survival Guide

Orals! They are the final leg on your long journey to the doctorate. At times you may not believe that you will actually go the distance to reach that point, but perseverance, optimism and a good support system will get you there. If you are already there, congratulations!

You are about to engage in one of the most important and exciting performances of your life! Do you feel wonderful? Or do you feel terrified that you'll succumb to stage fright and clam up, go blank, have racing thoughts, clammy hands, a sick stomach or pounding heart during your orals? Are you preparing for the fight/flight response?

Needless to say, you must be prepared for your oral defense, but gearing up for an attack won't help. It will only make you tenser. Here are some suggestions for how to prepare and deal with the final hurdle. Athletes, musicians and other performers who operate at their peak know and practice these tips with great success, and so can you.

1. Get ready. Practice! Re-read your dissertation several times (even if you're sick of it!). Have mock orals with friends or other students. Anticipate possible questions from your committee, and prepare your answers.

Ask yourself what is incomplete. What do you need to do to complete it? What will you wear? How will the room look? (Go there in advance and check it out.) What props/ materials will you need?

Decide what you will do if you don't know an answer. Use the practice session to see if instead of fearing failure, you can re-frame a difficult question into an interesting learning opportunity for the group. Then, declare your preparation complete, and stop practicing. Do not stay up all night before your defense!

2. Get set. Clarify your intention and decide in advance the image you want to create in this performance. Practice focusing and attention control. Learn relaxation techniques, deep breathing, and positive visualizations.

Visualize your most successful moments in the past. What did you feel like? Recall that experience using all of your senses. Imagine and visualize the kind of atmosphere you want to create. Think of your strengths (e.g., creativity, sense of humor, curiosity) and how you will use them in the room. Pick a few "trigger words" to describe how you intend to be (e.g., confident, expert, flexible, powerful). Set aside 15-30 minutes every day to practice. The more you practice getting yourself into this state of mind, the easier it will be for you to go there when the big day comes.

Rest, eat well, and get enough sleep the night before the orals.

3. Go! Remember your trigger words. Say them to yourself as you enter the room. Don't fear your anxiety. Expect and acknowledge anxiety as a necessary "activation spike" reflecting the rush of adrenaline coming from your brain's preparedness to work.

Be in the moment. No thoughts of victory. No thoughts of defeat. Aim high but let go of the outcome. Be mindful of your circumstances, but detach from judgment. This strategy is paradoxical and counterintuitive, but it works.

Can you allow yourself to actually consider being playful? Enjoy this moment that is the culmination of months and months of work! Can you silently celebrate it even as you're in it?

Remember that you are not your performance and you are not your dissertation. Think of what you have to give, to contribute, to learn, rather than what you have to fear.

You got this far because you are courageous, intelligent, and tenacious. Give yourself permission to have a good time and savor your success. Good luck!